A serious poem

Introduction:

This 11 year old boy, who is the narrator of Relatively Speaking: Poems About Family by Ralph Fletcher, talks about a few experiences that he has shared with his family and some are his perception of his family members. He, the narrator, talks about his birth order, tragic events and he's trying to make sense of adult conversations and interactions. As I find humor and chuckle after reading some of the poems, I equally find that the seriousness of others are real issues that children think about internally and may become overwhelmed or scared or confused altogether. I selected this poem, The Bravest Deed, because I can remember several incidents growing up and even in my adulthood, seeing children in the grocery stores, shopping malls and generally out in public getting a harsh spanking that was technically not a "spanking". The emotional distraught after witnessing such a dramatic act will always have a space in your mental memory. Those types of interactions are never forgotten. After reading this poem several times to myself and out loud, I began to analyze the narrator's thoughts and how he must have felt. One of the most serious aspects of this poem is the title and his perception of his mother, who I think he feels "saved" this innocent three or four year old child from child abuse. He calls this THE Bravest Deed because at this point in his life, he probably hasn't witnessed anything more brave and more worth doing than what his mother did at the supermarket this day......

The Bravest Deed

I'm shopping with Mom
at the supermarket
and we see a woman
yelling at her kid who
looks about three or four.

She grabs the girl's arm
smacks her on the bottom
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
about ten times, hard, then
CRACK! across the girl's face.

The girl is screaming
and the lady gets ready
to smack her again
but all of the sudden Mom
sort of steps between them
and asks: Is everything okay?
You're having a hard time,
looks like. I remember...

Mom points to me, laughing,
actually calms the lady down
with that girl still sniffling
and me standing there hoping
no one will notice my trembling hands.

Extension:

It takes reading this poem a few times to really feel the emotion behind it. In any situation - child abuse is a serious issue. After reading this the first time aloud, I went back to read it silently and looked at the narrator's choice of using all capital letters for the sounds the abusive mother makes as she hits her child's bottom and face. My mental voice softens when I read what his mother says to the abusive mother and my heart softens even more when I read the last sentence "no one will notice my trembling hands."

Using this poem in the classroom:

Speaking to students about child abuse is a serious topic. Depending on the experience and knowledge of the child, or lack of both, you may trigger conversation and discussion that have students "telling" on their parents or just the opposite - they stay quiet and are embarrassed that they have had similar punishments. Some people feel that spanking is a subjective topic, just like book challenges, but the fact is, harmful punishment that doesn't correct negative behavior and only inflicts pain on a child is wrong. As a teacher discussing this topic and sharing this book with students, you will have to be prepared on how to follow up and what your due diligence is after hearing specific information from the students.

Other uses for this poem:

Teacher In-Service Meetings or "Back to School Meetings"

PTA Meetings

Parent Education

Fletcher, Ralph. (2001) RELATIVELY SPEAKING: POEMS ABOUT FAMILY (ill. Walter Lyon Krudop) Orchard Books: New York. ISBN 9780531301418